Posts Tagged ‘ GLBT ’

Cigars, men shopping and barriers

It’s scary making changes. Even though you know that they are good changes, they’re still scary. That first step can be a pretty big one.

I’m ao much happier though. I’ve been so angry for so very long. I’ve raged at the world and not really known why. I havn’t raged since I came to accept my gender-queerness though.

So far everyone that I’ve told has been really nice. I think some of them don’t really get it but they’ve nodded and said ‘Cool!’. One guy trying to get his head around it asked ‘So, it’s kind of like a makeover?’ and said we should smoke cigars when I was done!?! Because I’ve been asking about what kinds of shops they go to a couple of the guys have offered to take me shopping which puts that sexist myth to bed! The awesome thing about University is that even if people have problems with stuff like this they know that they shouldn’t and keep their mouths shut…

It’s not so nice in the real world though. One thing that makes me really sad is reading blogs and watching clips about how trans people are treated in our community. By community I don’t mean the whole wide world. I mean my community, my people. Trans people talking about non-acceptance from the queer community. Trans-women feeling shunned by feminists. Trans-people of colour feeling ignored by white trans-people. Queer trans-people feeling invisible and having to deal with everyone thinking they’re straight!

WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE!!!

The reason why I’m a dirty socialist leftie is because I believe with my whole heart that humanity needs to take care of itself. When we see someone no matter how different they are from us and no matter how little we understand about them we need to help them out.

What the heck is the point of breaking down barriers if we’re just going to put new ones up?

The Magical Creature is Born!

When I was younger I created a blog. It was one of those ones full of crap that wasn’t that interesting. Just a place for me to let my friends know what was going on and put up interesting links. This ones different.

So recently I’ve been dealing with an issue. As most people in my age bracket do I turned to the interwebs. Surely in this day and age there will plenty of resources for me I asked? Not really. There’s a few but not a whole lot. So, I decided to blog my journey all the way from the beginning to drop just one more cupful of information into the puddle that will hopefully become a lake and one day a sea.

So what’s up? you ask. My gender is what. I had a haircut a couple of weeks ago and it’s started to trigger all sorts of emotions in me. Why I hadn’t gone back to short hair sooner, why I felt pressured to keep long hair that I hated, why I made excuses and lied to myself about wanting to keep it. I went out with my best friend last night and I wore a dress. It’s a dress that I wear a lot, I quite like it or I DID like it (past tense). That dress was fine with my longer hair but now that my hairs back to the way it should be, now that it’s RIGHT, that dress was just so very very wrong.

I’ve only been familar with the term genderqueer for less than a year but it’s SO ME! It explains why I’ve just never felt right in any of the other catogories/labels. I’m neither, I’m both, I’m all and nothing. I’m a biological female who displays feminine masculinity. I don’t care if you do a double take when I walk into the loo’s because out of the corner of your eye you couldn’t tell what I was. Actually, that’s a LIE. I do care. I’m a bit chuffed actually that you do a double take.

I’m going to do something that I’ve wanted to do since I was about 13. I wanted to get them to be like all the other girls, to fit in, because you were supposed to want them. Everyone, everything, every form of media told me that I should want them. When they came I didn’t hate them. They were just wrong. They were these lumps of meat on a part of my body that just didn’t seem to belong.

I’m going to start binding them.

Tonight I’m going to talk to my partner. I figure they deserve a heads up that I’m going to start looking different.

I’m a bit scared. I think I’ll have another shot before I go to bed to talk.

Tomorrow I’ll blog about how it went and where the title of the blog came from.

Toodles and take care!